Friendship, though sometimes overwhelming, can be a fulfilling experience. Overwhelming in that we can feel pressured to be something we are not, misguided in our understanding of what it truly represents.
Every youth at some point in their childhood has an epiphany-charged moment in which they realize the kind of friends that they want in their lives. As you examine each individual relationship you begin to lean towards some, more than others. You start to understand that being with certain individuals makes you feel either better or worse about who you are and who you want to be.
Friends are the people along the journey that force you to stop and examine the qualities inside you that make you, you. Those qualities that make you examine your likes and dislikes, motives, boundaries, passions, dreams, fears and future. They challenge you to test your limits. They help you decide how deep you choose to allow your parental roots to flourish while building your persona and establishing the reasons behind your “joie de vivre”.
But they are not just there to contribute to who you are, but also to receive. Because let’s face it, we all want to be accepted. We all want to be a part of something mutually satisfying. We want to know that being with someone or spending time on someone is going to be worth the effort that we put out. We want to feel that at any moment we can reach out and know that this person will have our back in no matter what situation we are facing and that they won’t ever let us down. But, the truth of the matter is that they will. No matter how close we think the friendship is.
Friendship is not about perfection. It is not about always telling someone exactly what they want to hear. It is not about pretending that everything they do is sufficient to sustain the relationship. It is not about becoming who they are, in order to feel connected. It is not about compromising who you are, in order to prove your worth. It is not about holding the friendship hostage using manipulative methods and deception. It is not about taking advantage of their positive qualities and exploiting them to boost your own ego. It is not about any of these things.
Friendship is a bond that is created through commonalities shared between people involving sacrifice, truth, respect and unconditional love. It must be unconditional in order to see past the imperfections that make us human. These types of relationships are what keep us connected. Sometimes, as individuals and as a society we become so disconnected that we begin to wonder who we are at all. It is through personal bonds that we become.
Friendship does not just happen. It must be on purpose. There must be a desire to want to have certain people in special moments of life, some good moments, some bad. There must be an effort to reach out, allowing yourself to become vulnerable and accountable to another. We must choose to celebrate these bonds and make it known to them that they are irreplaceable in our lives. We must assure them through words and actions that nothing they do will change our feelings. We must follow-up with them despite miles of separation and varying seasons in life. And we must reciprocate and allow understanding to grow when gaps of time would suggest loss of connectivity. When inspired and led by the Spirit of God we must not hesitate in using the instilled gifts and talents God placed in us to be a blessing to them.
When Jesus came to earth, he not only came for the purpose of salvation. He also came to be an example of loving others the way we want and desire to be loved. He came to show us that even our enemies deserve to have a hand extended to them in friendship. After all, one of his closest friends even betrayed him with a kiss, and yet he loved him. Although this extreme may be foreign and difficult to us as humans, we must still strive for it. It is in the striving that we stretch ourselves and allow God to continue to shape us for greatness, with God and man.
Friendship is the pathway that leads into the introduction for greatness. It allows us to be ever-evolving, sharpening others and allowing them to sharpen us through the privilege of a co-starring role in the story of their lives as well as in ours.
John 15:15 “Instead, I have called you friends…”.
Proverbs 27:17 ” Iron sharpens iron…”.